Inside the Fishbowl

Something old and something new

It seems like I am on a never-ending quest to declutter and destash my craft room.  It's a circle, not a vicious one, but a happy one.  Less stuff leads to more places to put new stuff, thus the clutter is reduced and the stash is manageable.  (FYI--the stash will never be gone.  I love that my husband or my kids can come to me, ask for something and know that it is to be found amongst my things.  Kailtin, my 9 year old, already knows that I have every adhesive known to man for every possilbe use under the sun.)

In order to meet this goal-that-will-never-really-be-met, I am employing the following methods.  Try, try, try to use what I already have and finish the projects that I begin.  Oh, and go back and finish all of my WIPs (works in progress, for the uninitiated), because they contribute to, if not the clutter, because they are well hidden in storage bins, then the loss of any crafty mojo that I have.  So, for every new project, I try to tackle an old project as well.  Oh, and I try to be realistic about whether or not I really even want to finish a project.  If I don't, it goes in the trash.  Yes, the trash.  It's brutal but freeing.  Kind of like following through on your threats to your kids instead of caving in.  It hurts for a little bit, but then you realize that it's for the best, and you feel proud, like you could actually do it again!

But enough of this obsessive chatter about my personal failings and on to my two little projects!  One is a new one--little Valentine's Day gifts for my kids' teachers.  The other is an old one, repurposed for what is going on in my life right now.  Ready?

First the new--because the current stuff is almost always more exciting than the old stuff, right?

Sometimes I make something that's so cute, I can't humble about it.  I think this may be one of those times.  This is CUTE, right?!  But then reality sets in, and I know that I have to give the credit to somebody else. This is not my original idea.  I am a YouTube junkie.  And no, junkie is not an exaggeration.  I crave my Youtube videos like a. . .well, you can insert your own metaphor here. One of the YouTubers I follow is Bona from Live Love Scrap.  I always know when there is something great in the $1.50 bins at Michaels because of her, and she always makes the best projects with things she finds there.  And she's kind enough to share all of her little lovelies with us.  On YouTube!  For a Youtube junkie, there is nothing better.

Recently she showed us some adorable balsa wood boxes that she bought at Michaels and altered.  I was instantly smitten and ran out, probably the minute after I saw her video, and bought a bunch of these boxes.  I may have been back a time of two more to buy more.  I love these boxes!  I never want to run out of them!  I know that this poses a problem for achieving the stated objectives above, so I have put a moratorium on buying balsa boxes.  It has nothing to do with the fact that I bought out one of the Michaels stores in my area on Friday.  Nothing at all. What!?  Don't judge!

Like I mentioned earlier, I wanted to use these boxes to make some little Valetine's Day gifts for my kids' teachers to show them how much we love them and appreciate all of their hard work.  They make perfect little gift holders.  Since it was Valentine's Day I filled them with foil covered Sees hearts.  But they will also hold a nice bar of soap--perfect if you want to give a little treat to a friend who is trying to lose weight, for example, or who is stronger than I am, and doesn't eat sugar.  At all.  I'm told that such people exist.  I'm skeptical.  Anyway, who doesn't like a really beautifully presented package, whatever the contents?  

To make this box, I removed the bown elastic and the little wooden knob that keep the box shut.  Then I pained the edges of the box a creamy white color.  Next, I used some of the new Love Story collection by Lori Whitlock for Echo Park Paper to cover the outside and line the inside of the box.  I thought that the lined pink paper was perfect for a teacher.  The banner on the outside is a combination of a sticker from the Love Story sticker sheet and little punches from the Jenni Bowlin Blue Ribbon punch.  I then used some mulberry hearts that I found in the $1.50 bins at Michaels and a little bit of lace that I pleated with my fingers and hot glued into place.  I then put the knob and the elastic back on, filled a little celophane bag with chocolates, put a small valentine inside and voila!  A cute teacher gift that came together really quickly!  By the way, if you want some of these boxes, I suggest you finish this post and then run as fast as you can to your closest Michaels.  The stores I have have been to are almost out.  They probably won't restock them.  That's the danger of the $1.50 bins at Michaels.  If you see something you really like grab it while you can!

My next project doesn't need so much background.  As you can guess, I sort of love the $1.50 bins at Michaels.  One thing that they always have is cute cards.  They're mostly just plain--fun designs but no embellishment.  A long time ago, in a year far, far away, I bought a bunch of these cards, thinking it would be fun to make little card sets to give to friends, since I'm always looking for non-food gifts to give to people.  Anyway, way back when, they had some really cute collections, so I bought a few packs.  But like all of my best laid  crafty plans, the cards simply sat on top of the island in my craft room, unused, unembellished, gathering dust.  Until last night!  I finally thought of a use for these cards!  

Yesterday my LDS Stake was split.  In the process they had to realign many of the wards in our area.  Mine was one of the ones who had some major changes.  Until yesterday I was an Activity Days leader.  What that means is that I got to have the cutest group of 9 year old girls over to my house every other week to work on the Faith In God Program requirements with them, or just to have fun and do something crafty.  I wasn't their leader for very long.  I began in September, but I have really loved getting to know these beautiful girls.  They are all so unique, but somehow they managed to come together, love each other, and be really, really kind to each other.  No, really.  I saw so many little kindnesses during my time with these girls.  I am very impressed with each of them.  I wanted to let each girl know what I loved about her and how she touched my life and taught me some important lessons along the way.

Enter the cards.  The cards were perfect--pretty and girly, and with a minimal amount of embellishment, just what I wanted to give my girls!

The card base is from a pack of cards from Michaels.  I used pink cardstock to create a ribbon banner to run across the bottom.  I stamped sentiments from a stamp set by Ali Edwards for Technique Tuesday called Simply You.  The cards says, "You are simply the best, the fantastic, incredible, wonderful, amazing person you are."  Next I used the Notched Flowers Die from Papertrey Ink, wool felt, a button and some jute twine to make the little flower.  Finally I cut out some leaves with my Silhouette.  I layered everything together, and a cute little card emerged.  

I still have some packs of cards, but now that I know I can whip up a pack of 8 cards in about an hour, I might feel a bit more inclined to make more and have some on hand for when I need a quick gift.  

I can already feel my craft room getting lighter.  

 

 

January Scripture Challenge

I started doing this when I served in the Relief Society (women's organization) presidency at church.  The new Relief Society president asked me to continue.  Here's the January scripture challenge.  Enjoy!

One Little Word: Integrity

"Integrity is doing the right thing, even when no one is watching."  CS Lewis said that, and most of us would generally agree with this definition.  In 2012, I began to question this definition, wondering, does it go far enough?  After a lot of thought, I don't think it does.  Maybe I'm incredibly naive, but think most people have no problem whatsoever with integrity according to that definition.  Most of us don't struggle with being decent, moral people.  A few months ago I was driving home from the gym.  I had just gotten finished working out with my personal trainer, Russ, promising him that I would eat good nutritious meals and snacks and do my workouts at home or at the gym oe the days between our Monday and Friday workouts.  It wasn't the frist time I'd made these promises, yet I continued to gain weight and see no benefit from all of the weights I'd been lifting.  As I drove, I considered my commitment to these promises.  I really felt committed at the time, yet I also knew that I would probably not live up to them for more than a couple of days before I went off on a holidays-long sugar bender.  As far as this promise was concerned I lacked integrity.

Yes, integrity.  I looked it up.  And as it turns out, the word integrity is a complex word with several different meanings.

I also looked at that fountain of all knowledge (and truth), Wikipedia.  Here is the begining of the entry on integrity:

"Integrity is a concept of consistency of actions, values, methods, measures, principles, expectations, and outcomes. In ethics, integrity is regarded as the honesty and truthfulness or accuracy of one's actions. Integrity can be regarded as the opposite of hypocrisy in that integrity regards internal consistency as a virtue, and suggests that parties holding apparently conflicting values should account for the discrepancy or alter their beliefs.

The word "integrity" stems from the Latin adjective integer (whole, complete). In this context, integrity is the inner sense of "wholeness" deriving from qualities such as honesty and consistency of character. As such, one may judge that others "have integrity" to the extent that they act according to the values, beliefs and principles they claim to hold."  (See the entire entry here.)

When I was promising Russ that I would eat healthy, I lacked integrity.  I wasn't being truthful (though in my defense, I wasn't being truthful with myself either, because at the time I really believed that I would do what I said.)  

I was very struck with the idea of internal consistency.  For me, that means doing what you say you're going to do.  Follwing words with actions.  I realized on that drive home, that I lack integrity in almost every aspect of my life.  I live a life of intentions, but rarely actions.  Because of this, 2012 was a very frustrating year for me.  I didn't make any progress.  I think this is because my personal integrity, my internal consistency, reached an all time low.  I don't like who that's made me into.  I can't even count on myself to follow through with promises that I make to myself--they fall flat, caving in on themselves like a roof collapses after years of decay.  I am an incomplete person, a person divided.  I lack structural integrity.  If I were a building I would have to be condemned as unsuitable for habitation.  My structure cannot support the weight of my intentions, and I'm more likely than not to spend the day sleeping on the couch, or wasting time on Pinterest.  Intentions swirl around in my head and heart, and they turn into. . .nothing.

So, 2013 is the year that I will begin to change this.  I will re-learn how to set goals and achieve them, adhering firmly to the spirit of what I want to accomplish and keeping myself focused on the small steps that will lead me to a bigger accomplishments.  I will keep the promises I make to myself and others, even when nothing more than faith in myself or another person's faith in me hangs in the balance.  Lame "I'm sorrys" or settling for less than my best won't cut it anymore.  I want to build strength of character and integrity.

So I can be a better wife and mother.

So I can be a better friend.

So that my words means something.

So that my actions become consistent with my intentions.

So that I don't waste a lot of time treading water, expending a lot of energy to get nowhere.

I want to be a person known for her strength of character.  I want the structural integrity needed to make myself happy and to positively influence the lives of others around me.  Within that framework I have lots of little goals.  I didn't really make any big New Years resolutions.  I just know that I need to keep myself focused on small accomplishements that are meaningful to me and my family and those around me.  Do what I say I'm going to do.  Live my life with integrity.

Mojo Monday 8.27.12

Yesterday Alex was home sick with a nasty stomach bug.  At around 2:15 it finally settled down long enough for him to take a nap.  A nice.  Long.  Nap.  Sensing a prime opportunity for some quality time in my craft room, I ran downstairs to make my ideas for this week's Mojo Monday sketch into reality.  I have to admit that I'm really falling in love with the idea of using sketches for card making.  I've been in such a crafting rut lately (for the last couple of years), that it's nice to sit down and just figure out what I want to use to make somebody else's vision.  So, without further adieu, here is my take on this week's sketch.

The photo is terrible.  Sorry about that!  Today is a cloudy day, and I couldn't seem to get the picture taken without the right side looking really washed out.  No amount of the limited Photoshop magic I know could fix it.   I  think it has to do with the visual weight on the right being so much heavier than then left.  I don't know.  I'm (obviously) not a photographer.

For this card I used some leftover My Minds Eye Indie Chic paper in the Saffron colorway.  I also used some washi tape from the Indie Chic line, as well as some older Amy Tangerine (I think) tapes from American Crafts.  The "Love You" sentiment is from those old Making Memories Jelly Labels that I pulled out last week, and the little wood veneer man and woman are from Studio Calico.  The flower is from the Silhouette Online Store.  It's a Lori Whitlock flower shape that just came out.  Man, do I love her cut files!  I think I have all of them.

Anyway, thanks for looking!  Oh, and in case you're wondering, I do intend on getting back here on a more regular basis.  My kids are both in school full time now, so once I get my house in shape (and that could take a while!) I'll be back posting more regularly, after my 2-3 year break. No, really.  I'm really coming back.  For reals this time.  Really.

My first card challenge!

Last night I had to make a bunch of gift card holders for my husband to give to the wives of some of his employees whose husbands have been pulling really late hours. When I was done, I had a lot of large scraps left over from an old American Crafts paper collection that I really like (Letterbox), and I didn't want to have to store them, or even worse, throw them away. So I went online to find a card challenge website and hit the motherlode. It's a blog called Crafty Card Makers and they have a master list of card challenge sites.  I clicked on the link for Mojo Monday.  I liked the sketch, and got to work using up some of those beautiful scraps.  Thanks, Mojo Monday for helping me get started.  I've never used a sketch to create a card or scrapbook page, but I just might be hooked now.  It was so fun and easy!  Anyway, here's the card I made!

For this card challenge challenged myself to dig into my stash and use something that I haven't used before.  I found these Really Big Brads from Bazzill Wings of Imagination.  Remember these?  I still think they're cute, and I liked how the large circles broke up the linear design of this card. 

This may be digging even deeper, but I also found some old Jelly Lables from Making Memories.  I don't know how long I've had these, but they are still adorable!  I love the dimension they add to the card.  Besides, they matched the paper collection perfectly.  

It may be a little hard to see the colors, but this collection has lots of grey in it.  It just goes to show that trends are cyclical.  These are at least 9-10 years old.  And now here we are again, we all love grey and can't get enough of it!  

Thanks, Mojo Monday for the boost I needed, and for getting me to raid my stash for some cute, but old embellishments.  And thanks to you for stopping by and looking at my card!  

 

 

Sunday Tunes: The Sabre Rattlers

In April I saw my Uncle David at a family wedding.  The day after the wedding, while we were all assembled at another uncle's house, David handed me a CD marked Sabre Rattlers and told me that i had to listen to it. I trust David's taste in music implicitly.  He was the one who introduced me (through my Dad) to The Wailin' Jenny's, who have been on my daily playlist for the last three years, and Otis Taylor.  So, of course, I put the CD into my sister's CD player when we were driving to the hotel that same evening and when I did, I knew I'd been handed a treasure.  The first song on the CD is a rocked out version of "Now Let Us Rejoice."  A few seconds into the song an electric guitar starts to whine, evoking emotion that only an electric guitar can.  At the time we listened to a few tracks, but not the entire CD.  I wanted to listen to this in private, without my sister, whose tastes tend more toward Top 40.  I wanted to be able to savor the experience and not have to coninually shush my children.

Back at home, I did a bit of searching and found out that the CD is titled "Twixt me and the Peaceful Rest" by Texas-based (I think) band The Sabre Rattlers.  It is a surprising mix of classic hymns all rearranged to reflect the influences to be found in traditional American music--country, bluegrass, folk, jazz and early rock n' roll. Where "Now Let Us Rejoice" is definitely rock, "The Spirit of God" has more of a bluegrass feel with the banjo and fiddle taking center stage.  It's gorgeous.  All of the songs are gorgeous and unforgettable, and will most likely be recognizable to a broad audience of Christians, since many of the hymns Mormons sing are also sung by other Christian denominations.  My favorites, "Let the Lower Lights Be Burning" and "Jesus, Savior, Pilot Me" are not in the LDS hymnal, but still carry messages of the Savior.

This is definitely not your grandmother's Sabbath music.  Don't get me wrong, I like The Mormon Tabernacle Choir.  But there is more interesting music out there, preformed by many talented artists who are doing incredible interesting things with our traditional hymns. 

Give The Sabre Rattlers a try.  Below you can listen to the CD in it's entirety.  If you like it, I encourage you to buy it.  You can buy it for download on The Sabre Rattlers website, or on iTunes.  If you prefer you can also buy a hard copy directly from the website.  You can also find them on Facebook and Twitter and of course, Youtube.

 

Go and Grub

In July Jeremy had a fantastic idea that I supported wholeheartedly.  In an effort to discover backpacking foods that our children would deign to allow past their picky palates, we agreed to devote one night a week to trying out back county cooking.  And, since we all know (don't we?) that back country food is never better than in the back country, we knew that we would conduct this experiment in the outdoors. We originally planned that we would spend every Tuesday night in American Fork Canyon, our favorite local place to explore and for the sake of setting this activity up as an enduring family tradition, we would title this activity "Go and Grub." Unfortunately, we didn't think about the reality of our busy calendars, most notably that Jeremy was about to leave on a Chicago/China trip for the next two weeks.  We have only been out cooking in the woods once, but what a great night it was!

The day before we were to go I did some looking around at the various blogs and websites devoted to back country cooking and found some very promising possibilities.  I settled on Gnocchi with Sage Butter Parmesan and Bacon (origin unknown, recipe posted below)

Gnocchi with Sage Butter Parmesan and Bacon

Serves 2

Shelf stable gnocchi can be found at Trader Joe's and some supermarkets. (I found mine at Super Target)

1 package prepared gnocchi

½ cup Parmesan cheese, shredded

2 individual packages butter

1 teaspoon dried sage

1 teaspoont garlic powder

3 tablespoons shelf stable bacon crumbles

¼ teaspoon black pepper

 

At home: Combine the Parmesan cheese, sage, garlic powder and black pepper in a

zip-locking plastic bag. Carry the bacon in a second bag. You can re-package the

gnocchi into a baggie if you’d like to save room in your pack.

 

In camp: bring a pan of water to a boil. Add the gnocchi and cook for about 2 minutes.

The gnocchi will float to the surface when it is done. Drain. Add the Parmesan and spices.

Stir. Add the bacon and stir again. Serve!

 

We liked this recipe for the most part.  It was very salty with both bacon and parmesan cheese in the recipe--make sure you have extra water if you're going to make this one!  Also, I used ground sage instead of dried sage, and I think that made a huge difference.  Next time I would not use ground sage, or I would reduce the amount drastically.  This was very sage-y.  Finally, since we were only going up the canyon 20 minutes from home, I used bacon that I cooked at home instead of shelf stable bacon crumbles.  That was delicious, but hardly an option if you're planning on taking this recipe on a backpacking trip.  All in all I would give this recipe 3 out of 5 stars.  It could have been better--but that is most likely a function of my substitutions, and not the recipe itself.

As for the kids, it was not a hit at all.  I think it was too strongly flavored. Or it could have been that we provided them with a safety net--Jimmy John's sandwiches.

I know, this isn't exactly the best way to conquer their picky eating habits, but I can't stand it when my kids are cranky, and hunger always makes them cranky.

Other than the food just being average, we had a wonderful night together as a family.  Alex is always at his best in the outdoors, where running and yelling and talking up a storm are never frowned upon.  He is a boy who needs room to be himself.  He has all that he needs in the woods.  

Kaitlin, who has recently turned into a reluctant hiker, also couldn't help but give into the pure bliss that can only be found when one is in nature.  For her, this usually manifests itself in extreme silliness.

Our evening adventure was enhanced by some amazing wildlife encounters.  First we saw a deer.  This is not too uncommon in our canyon, but this deer didn't immediately bound off for a quieter locale when she heard us coming.  She simply remained still and watched us.  

We also saw a much more elusive moose.

It's always beautiful to see animals in their homes, even if it's an animal that you've seen dozens of times.  Just listen to a child driving across Wyoming exclaiming about the herds of pronghorns that are as prevalent as ants.  It simply never gets old.

Now that Jeremy is home from his travels for a while, we are about to leave for a family vacation in Yellowstone National Park.  We are all so excited to have more time together doing the things that we love.  Yellowstone is almost an annual pilgrimage for us.  In the 12 years that Jeremy and I have been married I think we have only missed three years.  This trip is different.  We're getting off the beaten path and going into the backcountry for two days.  This summer it's been very apparent that life comes at us more quickly than we'd like.  This vacation is a chance to slow down, and of course, try some new backcountry recipes.

 

Clean Eating: Sauteed Fish Sticks with Dill Potato Chips & Mustard Slaw

I first found out about Clean Eating magazine last year when I attended an early morning fitness boot camp.  The trainer, Anne Perkins, who was conducting the camp highly recommended it.  I took her word for it and I've never regretted it.  The recipes are amazing--low calorie, yet filling, and very tasty.  You should take my word for it--just buy one issue.  I'll bet you'll be thinking you never knew eating healthy could be so appealing.

  

Last night I made Sauteed Fish Sticks with Dill Potato Chips and Mustard Slaw.  I was a bit nervous since previous attempts to feed my children frozen fish sticks blew up in my face spectacularly.  I have the pickiest eaters in all of history.  Surprisingly, they both loved the fish sticks.  They were willing to try the potato chips, but they were a no go--disappointing because they were really good!  There was no chance that they would even consider putting something called mustard slaw anywhere near their plates.  I'll reserve my review for after the recipe.

1 Slice whole-grain bread

1/2 lb yellow potatoes, scrubbed

2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil, divided

1/2 tsp salt

1 tsp dried dill

1/4 head cabbage, thinly sliced

1 large carrot, peeled and grated

4 small radishes, halved and thinly sliced

1 large Braeburn apple (or other thin apple) cut into thin matchsticks

1 1/2 tsp apple cider vinegar

1/2 tsp ground mustard

1 egg

3/4 pound boneless, skinless tilapia fillet, rinsed with water and patted dry

 

1.  Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.  Line a baking sheet with parchment paper and set aside.  In a food processor, process bread into crumbs.  Set aside.

2.  Slice potatoes as thinly as possible.  Spread slices out evenly on baking sheet and drizzle with 1 1/2 tsp olive oil.  Sprinkle with salt over top and use fingertips to rub oil and salt into each slice.  Bake for 20 minutes or until golden brown.  As soon as potatoes come out of oven, sprinkle with dill and lightly toss to combine.

3.  Prepare slaw.  In a large bowl mix cabbage, carrot, radishes, and apple.  In a small bowl, whisk together vinegar, mustard and 1 tbsp olive oil.  Toss with cabbage mixture.

4.  Prepare fish sticks.  Crack egg into a medium bowl.  Chop tilapia as finely as possible and add to egg.  Add 1/4 cup bread crumbs to tilapia mixture, then use hands to thoroughly combine.

5.  Divide fish mixture into 8 equal portions, shaping each into a rectangular stick about 2 1.2 inches long.  Pour another 1/4 cup bread crumbs into a large or flat-bottomed soup bowl.  Dredge each stick in bread crumbs pressing lightly to coat both sides.

6.  Heat remaining 1 1/2 tsp oil in a large nonstick skillet for 1 minute on medium.  Add fish sticks to pan and cook, covered, for 4 minutes or until bottoms are golden brown.  Use heatproof tongs to gently flip sticks over and cook for another 3 minutes or until both sides are golden brown.  Serve with potato chips and slaw.

Serves 4.  Hands-on time 35 minutes.  Total time 45 minutes

2 fish sticks, 2 oz potato chips and 3/4 cup slaw:  269 calories.  If you want the rest of the nutrition info go out and get the April/May 2011 issue of Clean Eating magazine.  I know this seems low, but I was not hungry for the rest of the night after eating this around 6:30 PM.  It was very satisfying.

The verdict--delicious!  This might just be my very favorite Clean Eating recipe I've tried so far.  I substituted halibut for the tilapia (my tilapia had been in the freezer an undetermined amount of time, and I wasn't sure about it's suitability for human consumption).  The fish sticks were crispy, and not too fishy.  I loved that I could make something that I loved when I was a kid so easily.

The chips were by far the best part for me.  I love potato chips, and now that I know how to make my own, I may never buy them again.  I used my madoline, which made the slicing fast and easy.  Also, if you don't like dill, don't use it, though Jeremy, who hates dill loved the chips.  One note about the chips--they took a lot longer to cook than the recipe said they should.  After 30 minutes of baking I turned on the broiler to brown them up faster.  I think I may need to measure the temperature of my oven!  Also, I know it seems like you're sprinkling a very small amount of oil on the chips, but don't worry--it's more than enough.  I could probably have cut out the last 1/2 tsp.  

Finally, the mustard slaw.  I know the appearance of the work mustard may turn some people off.  Don't let it!  There is no discernable mustard flavor in this dish.  Jeremy, who also hates mustard and would never eat it willingly even said that he couldn't taste the mustard.  Trust me his sense of taste is very sensitive--I can't sneak anything past that guy.

So, are you going to try it?  I hope you do, and let me know what you think!

This kid tugs at my heart

Since it's been a while I thought it would be wise to reintroduce you to two of my major sources of subject matter--my kids. I would hate for you to land here, not recognize them and steer yourself away because you thought you'd come to the wrong place. They have changed, grown up. A lot. I keep demanding that they stop getting older, but they both assure me that stopping is beyond their capability, not matter how many times I threaten to send them to their rooms for disobeying me. It's one of the great ironies of my life as a mother--as soon as I don't want them to grow up they begin wanting nothing more.  This couldn't be more true than for my youngest, Alex.

Alex and I have had a rocky relationship since he was born.  He is headstrong and stubborn.  He has more energy than the rest of the family put together.  He has an incredible imagination. . .that often leads to trouble.  He is also clumsy, the pickiest eater I know, and very, very prone to whining.

But for some unexplainable reason, I love this kid more than I can ever express in word or action.

I know that it's not because of his athletic ability. He's kicking here, but you can see that the ball is nowhere in sight, and if you look closely, everybody looks a little bit confused. Sports is probably not in Alex's future. It could, though, have something to do with the fact that he surprised me so much with soccer this year. I fully expected to have to coax him through every game, with him refusing to even step foot near the field. So far he's been a willing participant, which is more than I could have expected from my shy boy.

I certainly don't love him for his fashion sense.  Yes, those are flip flops on his hands.  I think he just got tired of wearing shoes, but really, it's not the most sophisticated look, is it?  And no, that is not the worst picture that I could find, but hey, I decided to spare him the future embarrassment of flood pants and a too small t-shirt. It could, though, have something to do with the way that Alex throws his whole body behind his efforts.  In Alex's world, you don't just bend down to smell the flowers, you lay down on their level and really get your nose in there.  He puts similar effort into everything he does.

I'm pretty sure the depth of my emotion for this child does not stem from his inability to take a bad photo. Good pictures of Alex are few and far between. This is his regular facial expression in just about every outdoor photo we have of him. But I can't really fault him for that. He inherited his father's light-sensitive eyes.

One of the things that I love about my son is that when things don't come easy for him (and most things don't) he will keep on coming back to it until he gets it.  He still hasn't mastered rolling down hills, but he'll get there.  The hill at the Thanksgiving Point Gardens beckons.

Let me reiterate, Alex has no natural athletic talent. He lacks the ability to focus on a game for more than about 30 seconds which means he's always ten steps behind everyone else.  The same is true for running. He loses focus, starts to look around and before you know it he's flat on the ground.  That happened to him a few weeks ago at this one mile fun run that we entered him and Kaitlin into.  That run was a struggle for him, but he kept at it, coming in almost dead last.  That determination is going to serve him well as he gets older.  Don't get me wrong, he gets frustrated.  Very frustrated.  But after he clams down he gets right back into that action and reaches his goal.

Finally, I think the thing that I am supposed to learn from Alex is how to enjoy life, be in the moment and just laugh.  He is so amazing at that.  He has the best sense of humor, he gets when we're teasing him and he's not afraid to laugh at himself.  I so, SO love that about him.

I strongly feel the necessity of expressing my love to my children every day, but with Alex, I feel a sense of urgency about it that I don't have with Kaitlin.  Maybe it's because she doesn't struggle with things as much as he does.  Kaitlin is going to be one of those disgusting women who can do everything (I'm jealous already). With Alex it's different.  He seems fragile, like he needs reassurance.  I never want him to feel rejected by me, though I know I fail at this from time to time.  Generally, I try to squeeze the assurance of my love into him.  I'm not sure he understands the language of the squeeze, but he at least humors me and lets me hug him all I want.  I know that will end soon, so I'll get in as many as I can while it lasts.

Is anybody still out there?

Hey there! I'm just wondering if anybody still follows this blog. Did this post show up in your reader? I've been thinking a lot about this little space that I have neglected so long. I'm thinking that it's time I resuscitated it. So many of us have fallen off the blog-wagon. We're not blogging as much anymore and, to be truthful, I miss our little community.

I have some plans, but it might take a week or so to have them come to fruition. I'm trying to solve this blog's identity crisis.

It's good to be back!