The only way to have a friend is to be one. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Last night I went to our monthly Enrichment dinner group. In case you don't know, Enrichment is a church activity for women only. It takes place on a weekly or monthly basis--different activities for different weeks. I have been going to the Enrichment book club for months. But that wasn't really a stretch for me. Book clubs are definitely fall within my comfort zone. I feel confident talking about books. It's the one thing of value I gained from my English major at BYU! Well, that and the ability to write a dang good essay discussing the human condition as reflected in Shakespeare's The Winter's Tale.
There are those of you who will know that this was a huge step for me. I tend to be a complete recluse. I dread leaving the house to put myself in unfamiliar social situations. I almost never make phone calls. The phone inspires dread akin to what you might feel if you knew you were going to be forced to get a perfectly healthy limb amputated without ansethesia. I can hardly call stores to ask for their hours of business. It's bad. (Incidentally, my grandmother shared the same phone phobia. Could it be genetic?) So, why did I decide to go? Well, for a few reasons. First, our ward split about six weeks ago. Most of the people have only lived here for less than a year, so we're all pretty new. I'm determined to meet new people. Second, these are my neighbors. I go to church with them. It's inexcusable that I don't know most people's, if not everyone's names. Seriosuly, it's so bad, I have neighbors who live two houses down from me that I don't know. It's not that I haven't gotten to know them, I don't even know their names. Third, I'm tired of sitting alone in Relief Society. Seriously, it's embarrassing, very awkward! Finally, I'm in need of a major attitude adjustment lately. I've been in a funk that I can't shake. These dinner groups have been a major source of irritation for me. I don't think they are what was intended when the new Enrichment program was announced. So, I boycotted them. But, I admitted what I'd known all along--my boycot is useless. I'm not hurting anyone but myself by not joining in. I'm only isolating myself from people who could potentially become great friends. So I bit the bullet. I went. And you know what, I had a great time! A really great time. I talked to people I don't usually talk to. I met up with one of the girls I visit teach. It was nice to see her away from home and without her kids. She looked great--so different without a spitup stained shirt! (By the way, I can say that without being snarky, because my shirt is always spitup stained!) I made a standing date with my next door neighbor to have dinner every Tuesday night with her and her kids because our husbands both work late Tuesdays.
I'm feeling good--this is just what I needed to get the fog to start lifting. It's interesting, though. When I was childless I thrived on alone time. The more the better. Now that I'm a mom I'm begining to see the value of having a network of friends who live close with whom I can associate often. One would think it would be the other way around. I should be craving alone time now, shouldn't I, since I spend all of my time with a two year old who constantly begs me to make her a "maydough switch" (playdough witch). Life's funny that way. Full of surprises. I think this is a good surprise.
